"The heart knows what it wants..."

I'm a firm believer in us all having the answers to whatever comes our way, even if we may not realize it at the time.  Right now I'm having a case of knowing but just not being able to fulfill.

My heart aches. I want to get away from everyone and everything. I want to retreat and have some time in solitude to truly recuperate. There's no such place I can go do to that right now. I currently can't afford to drop everything and run, even though I'd like to...

And at the end of it, I want to be held by safe arms. I want to be pampered and doted upon... but not baby talked to. I want to be caressed as a woman, not talked to as a child. I want to lean on someone stable, for just a little while, just to be refreshed.

I want to be able to trust that my lovers will be honest with me... or even just one lover who honors me and loyal. I want to take a spiritual sexual journey... and to be able to go on it with someone I care about. I don't want to take such a trip alone, though I know it's possible.

I don't want to be LEFT alone... but if alone on my own terms.

It's not on my terms right now...