3/1/10

Putting things into words

My mate and I seem to have been stuck in an argument until yesterday. There was a lot of tension… a lot of crying… and an undeniable heaviness in the air around us as the days went by. We’ve likely had unresolved business up to yesterday. I don’t feel like there is any ill will between us right now. There are things we won’t ever see completely eye to eye on and I still don’t like the idea of sharing or being shared. Perhaps, it would be best to gradually move our relationship back into a state of complete monogamy.

It melted away in a nursing session…
True, we fell into another small “argument” and tears after something poorly timed was said in the moment, but by night, all was well once more. I won’t say that drinking far too many Mike’s Hard Lemonades is what calmed me. (Drinking alcohol makes me either giggly or want to fight.) But all calmed again after the second nursing session. (Which followed a massage.)

I think I was able to get some of my emotions out regarding ANR as well. In the past I’ve said it simply feels very good, relaxes me, and is an easy way to turn me on. This time, I told him it was something that put me and left me in a very vulnerable place during the moment. It’s something that makes me relaxed, aroused, awash with emotions, spiritual and physical all in one. I feel cared for and feel nurturing at the same time in that embrace, with legs entwined. Tooth against nipple is a sensation – but for as much of the breast as possible in his mouth, pulling in the areola, I am in a strange bliss.

Maybe, he’s beginning to understand what it means to me. Maybe, he’s more comfortable with the idea of spending quiet time in my bosom. Maybe, he did it just to stop the fighting and as a way of giving me something I love.

As with all things, time will tell.

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