The short version of it all - the mouse did something that broke a lot of my trust.
The short version of it - he did something that he said forgot was "against the rules" and thought I was alright with considering that I simply tolerated related acts in an attempt to deal with the open aspects of our relationship better.
The short version is that we are most definitely going back to condoms if there is to be sex ever again between us. I don't think there will be any time soon.
Do I want to leave? Not particularly... but at the same time I don't know or think there's much left for me with him. The best he has to offer may not be good enough for me to accept as a partner. His best might be pure in his intentions but not enough for me in terms of what I give and want to receive from a partner.
Do I want to leave? Not particularly... but at the same time I don't know if there's really any future for us or if he's even given it more of a thought than a romanticized "be with you for the rest of my life" in words. I've asked him what he means by that and he shrugs an "I don't know."
So I made a list of questions... something for us to discuss in a few days. They're the "tough, soul-searching, what do you want" type of questions. There are some that I might have trouble with but I'll try. The point is trying. Even if we can't see eye to eye on whatever future there might be for us, at least it would be good to know as individuals what you want.
Still, I've a lingering feeling that this is all really just prolonging the inevitable.