Other People and Their Time

I realize, something I sorely hate is being right about the negative qualities of others. Something I can't stand is having the feeling of someone not following through, and them proving that gut feeling correct.

I'd really like to believe in others, but when they behave that way, it makes it rather difficult to.

I'm learning to walk to my own drum beat in a more full way, but at the same time, it's hard seeing the mouse get let down. It's sobering feeling someone let you down, or let someone you care about down. It's annoying knowing that they've managed to hurt with their carelessness and then having to clean up the mess.

I could laugh about my prediction being correct, but it's not something to really be happy about.

As mentioned before, RC and YC were supposed to be visiting the mouse yesterday. I remember joking with YC probably not being able to see them because I had work - but to be sure to let me or the mouse know if they'd be by.  They made a date for yesterday and didn't keep it. I'd actually managed to switch my schedule around as a sort of a "surprise", and they only seemed vaguely remorseful after learning that I was there. All I get from this is finding them even less reliable and much less of a desire to do much of anything with them in the intimate terms.

The mouse was upset most of the night and I fired off my own string of blunt texts (that they may or may not get... or have simply ignored.) They've been texting with him off and on since then and we both  had our own share of sharp words. His were answered. Mine were a bit more cutting and concise.

The mouse told me later that he doesn't want to lose my respect if they come by later and the more erotic things happen between them. I said plainly that I feel they no longer deserve the privilege. It's possible it's all a difference in the way we both look at things. To me, to let them disrespect in such a way and then "call in a fuck" screams of a kind of desperation and doormat... They were both accountable but nothing said.

He has to make his choice as I have made my own... but if I think less of him or respect him less for his choice... I think I would if he takes them up on sex. Not for matters of him having sex with other people... but for a matter of self respect involved in it.

At least what is perceived...

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