This is one of the things I need not forget... I have to laugh.
Maybe it’s the Nuvaring leaving my system and things getting back to “normal”. Maybe it’s the dose of vaginal progesterone. (though that gave me a killer headache when I took it.) I feel cheerful now. I looked in the mirror – hair wild and naked. My breasts were touching my stuffed and slightly bloated belly. My labia peeked out from a long left untrimmed pubic mound. Then I smiled and thought of Baubo.
I have to remember to laugh. So what if I’m a little goofy. So what if I’m plump right now (even though I still want to get a bit stronger and fit so that I’m not so tired all the time). My breasts bounce when I jump. My stomach sways when I roll my hips. With each step my backside shifts. I’m full of sensuality. My body holds sexual magic.
I’ve cried far too much these past few days. I’ve worried too much about my boyfriend and what he does or doesn’t do. (Yes, I may still keep an eye on what he does with others and point out what is inappropriate – put foot down – I’m not completely indifferent…) I’ve wasted too much time worrying about other people and not taking care of myself. I haven’t been taking the time to tell my body and soul “I love you.” It’s one of those things I shouldn’t forget. I’ll be with me longer than anybody else in this world will be.
My magic and power to enchant are within me. I need to embrace that more.