I only partly retract yesterday’s statements due to mood. In line with the reading I did for myself last night, I reject reality and replace it with my own. How else am I going to be happy? If I keep myself in the boxes that are out there – how will I grow into my truest self? How can I break free of my cocoon?

Hormone therapy isn’t bad. I have to remember that too. I don’t particularly care for what high doses of some progesterones do to me. I’m still going to work at kicking of the fat that using Depo and the Nuvaring gave me. (However, /that/ fat could also be partly attributed to eating out more and not running up a hill every morning.) After inserting a Nuvaring last night, I felt a bit better mood wise. I perked up a bit. I remembered how suicidal and depressed I’d feel before I started hormonal birth control and how everything seemed to level out mentally once I did. (Then again, that could have also been the influence of having sex on a slightly more regular basis.)

I’ll be on the Nuvaring and using progesterone vaginal suppositories for approximately 2 months (or in other words, until June’s moon). I know that this will cause my menstrual cycle to reset it self, it also might make my periods heavier for a month or two. (or lighter with spotting all month). I still have access to progesterone cream. I’ll just have to wait and see what the end result will be.

In regards to my milk inducing, I might invest in an electric pump eventually. For now I can let the hormones do their thing and help my breasts develop/mature more ducts.

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